CES 2012 has been a bit of a washout by all accounts: a few exciting droplets have news have found their way out of the trade show, but it’s mostly been a case of herding the entire show into two distinct pens: Smart TVs and endless tablets. Except, of course, for the usual rollout of crazy…
CES has a habit of bringing out the oddballs of tech every year, and this one’s no exception. We could show you a handful of tablets and claim that they’re all really exciting, but far it’s more fun to point and laugh at the weird stuff. Here goes:
1. Padintosh
Love your iPad enough to protect it, but hate its damn modern design? Retro it right up with this £30 case in the guise of the Mac that started it all: the 1984 Apple Macintosh.
2. Victorinox 1TB Swiss army knife
When you’re out in the wilderness killing bears and making fires and opening bottles, sometimes you also need to transfer bloody enormous files from one computer to another. Well, we do, anyway.
Luckily, Vitorinox has been kind enough to make a Swiss army knife with a huge 1 terabyte flash drive stuck inside. Yours for $3000 (£1958). Bargain.
3. Razer Project Fiona
Not only does Razer’s bizarre gaming tablet have an ironically girly name for something so powerful, it’s been victim to what seems to be the weirdest design choice of all time: you can’t detach Project Fiona‘s gaming controls. Good luck fitting it in your bag.
4. Tosy mRobo
The mRobo was unveiled at CES by none other than teen money factory Justin Bieber. Just, you know… Because they paid him loads of money. And what is it? A completely crippled dancing robot speaker thing that looks like every moment of its existence is pure agony.
5. Golden-i
We’re all for advances in technology leading to wearable computers, and it will happen, but it’s not going to happen in 2012. Especially if the outcome looks like this.
The Golden-i may enable you to read your emails as you walk down the street, arms free to flail about in the wind, but you’ll look like a mentalist. Motorola, you’re wasting your time.
6. Skype-controlled Lego
Build this Lego NXT car and you’ll be able to control it with your keyboard through Skype by watching it in on a webcam. Exactly why this is useful or fun we don’t know, but we presume you’re required to have some sort of race track set up at home.
Either that or Lego just wants to help people freak their cats out from the office.
