Sex and video games go hand in clammy hand. This week we caught sight of a brilliant guide to all the saucy Playboy Magazine issues lying around Mafia II from Gamerzines and it got our filthy minds racing about all the other sauce stashed away inside video games, often in places you’d easily miss.
Our intrepid games addict Stephen spent most of yesterday afternoon up to his peepers in digital filth, digging out dirty gaming’s “best bits”. Read on, and see the top 10 sexy bits you missed while hunched over a sweaty joypad.
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Playing Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots you’ll come across ‘beauties’. Ignore them for a good few minutes and your character, Snake will freeze in his tracks. But don’t worry you’ll be taken to a better place. Much better. The screen will go white and you’ll suddenly find yourself the photographer on the set of a sexy, if not disturbing photo-shoot.
Video: see it in action (NSFW, obviously)
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
The first level of MGS2 sees Snake having to stealth sneak his way around a massive cruiser without alerting the guards. However It wasn’t all that bad if you caught their attentions, as gamers who sought the sanctuary of the changing room lockers discovered when they found themselves face to face with a pretty poster girl. Hands up those of you who stayed inside long after the guards had left? Be honest.
Dead or Alive
The fighter that taught a generation of gamers to fib about their age. By diving into the options and setting their age to anything above 21, players were able to make the female characters breasts behave like gravity-defying water balloons. Despite being a more than decent fighting game, the Dead or Alive series to this day is known more for its boobs than its brawls. Now you know why.
Dead or Alive 2
As if being able to make fighters gain ample bosoms with a flick of the option settings wasn’t enough, Dead or Alive 2 owners were treated to some rather saucy bonus material. Inserting (steady on) the Dead or Alive 2 disc into any computers optical drive accessed a folder called ‘Bonus’ featuring shots of the game’s characters in bikinis.
There’s no doubting that Heavy Rain’s Madison Paige (played by Guy Ritchie’s current girlfriend) is a virtual vixen. But inquisitive, some would say resourceful, gamers got more than an eyeful when they headed to her flat’s bathroom and turned on the shower to instigate a quick time event shower scene. We have a feeling it’s the longest some gamers will have spent in the shower.
Super Castlevania IV
Back in the 90′s we were too young and innocent to notice this saucy bit of pixellation inside Super Castlevania IV on the SNES. Probably for the better, but look! It’s Medusa! And she’s forgotten her top! Don’t become too entranced though, as you’ll still need to dispatch her to finish the game. Be careful: we’ve heard that a quick glance from her can turn people into stone. Wood? Not so much.
Mass Effect 2
The Mass Effect franchise has started to become known as much for its “tasteful” sex scenes as much as its compelling gameplay and story, such as this scene involving Commander Shepard and Jack instigated by what we can only call an alternative style of flirting. It’s easy to trigger, but only if you say the right things. As you can see here.
Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2
If you thought Dead or Alive took things too far with its own jiggly mammary mechanic it was nothing compared to Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2. The PS3 Sixaxis controller might not have too many uses, but Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 developer, Team Ninja had other ideas by letting players use it to wobble breasts. They were so proud of it that they even demoed it to the gaming press. Sexy? Not really, if we’re honest.
Dead Rising 2
In zombie infested Dead Rising 2 you spend most of your time looking at the back of protagonist, Frank West. That is until you head over to one of the games stores and pick up this T-shirt, slathered in a rather rude, but easy to miss image. Oh Dead Rising, you saucy thing… look! It’s a pair of quite badly drawn boobs! (via Kotaku).
Grand Theft Auto: The Lost and Damned
If you thought nudity in video games was all about the female form you’d be sorely mistaken, as this example vividly illustrates. The Lost and Damned’s Johnny Klebitz encounters congressman, Thomas Stubbs, who orders Johnny to kill his uncle. Blink and be glad you missed it, but this rare example of full-on male gaming nudity proves not all coders are obsessed with virtual ladies.