Snoop Dogg may have his very own TomTom satnav voice, ready to pimp your Escalade for the next trip to ASDA, even though the man himself isn’t allowed into the country. But why stop there? TomTom’s got a whole host of inappropriate celebrities it could still call upon to get you from A to B. Here’s our most wanted list.
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods certainly has the voice to be a TomTom satnav personality. Unfortunately, he’d only be capable of guiding you from your driveway into a nearby tree and would promptly stop working after that. You can recharge the batteries, you can restart it over and over, but it won’t say a word about what happened.
George Michael
A George Michael voice to guide you around north London, anyone? It’d flag up public toilets as points of interest, and guide you straight into head on collisions with other cars. Plus for a limited time only, you’ll get 80 hours of community service with it, free. NB: only compatible with TomToms for Land Rovers.
Mel Gibson
This one’s a non-starter really. A man found guilty of drink driving, known to blurt out racial slurs. There’re going to be a lot of awkward silences, and more than a little awkwardness between you and your passengers.
Jeremy Clarkson
Unless you stumble across one of those empty country roads Jezza always seems to find to test his roadsters, his constant spurring for you to push it to 130mph would soon send you around the bend. “Hurry up!” Come On! Get on With it!” “Follow the motorway… and open up the powwwwwer!”
Lewis Hamilton
He may be a champion F1 driver, but would you trust him to get you to your destination on time? Your TomTom would con you into making some dodgy overtaking manoeuvre, then tell you to lie about it when the police pull you over.
