Pull my finger. Go on. Yup, Apple has finally OK’d rude iPhone and iPod Touch apps to go on sale through the App Store. And, of course, we couldn’t resist indulging our purile side and taking a peep at them.
Feast your eyes, we’ve rounded up the most childish, crass, crude and down right lewd iPhone apps right here. Get the explicit details after the jump, and rest assured, none of these are safe for work!
iFart Mobile
It’s the world’s fourth most popular paid iPhone app, it’s a digital fart machine. There’s stacks of different fart choices, from “Jack the Ripper” to the highly ominous “Burrito Maximo”, all available at the touch of a button. Best of all though, it’s got a timer so that you can kill a conversation 30 seconds in, and then blame someone else, obviously.
Wobble!
Wobble! describes itself as “the only application that can make ANY body part on people in your photos wobble like jelly.” But, as the logo itself suggests, there’s only really one – or make that two – body parts you’re going to use it for. Yup, it’ll make breasts bounce, which is something you will never get bored of, ever. A steal at 59p.
Elite Text Game
“Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here, and back to my place!” Sorry. If you want to do better than that when it comes to talking to the opposite sex (but only a bit better), Internet Inferno generates “sexy chat” for you to help break the ice and woo the ladies. Our advice: memorise these things before hand, as constantly looking at your phone while trying to talk to her won’t be a turn on.
Fart For Free
If iFart Mobile is just a bit too expensive for you – and let’s face it, any money at all for a methaney mobile app is probably a bit too much – you can still sound like you’re baking brownies with this free app. The interface isn’t quite as high-end, but then does it really need to be? As long as it makes noises, it’s doing its job.
iPuke Mobile
Not enough bodily fluids involved in fart noise apps for you? You can sound like you’re chundering instead with a simple solution: iPuke. There’s no diced carrots and sweetcorn option, but with everything from vomit, “blow chunnks”, hurl and regurgitate, you’re spoiled for choice.
