Another week, and another story about how the Government is turning England’s green and pleasant lands into a police state that would make Stalinist Russia look like Care Bear Land.
This time it turns out that Gordon Brown wants us to show the poxy teenager behind the counter at the Carphone Warehouse our passports to buy a mobile, and keep a compulsory database of all 72 million phones in the country. If you ask us, we’re all doomed, unless you take our advice and start using these privacy protecting gadgets.
Google Chrome
Not a gizmo per se, but the big G’s internet browser comes with some handy settings to protect not just your identity but your history too. Chrome’s Incognito mode leaves absolutely no trace of your surfing on your computer, meaning you don’t have to worry about one of Gordon’s Cabinet lackeys leering over your shoulder. Yes, we’re well aware of what most people will actually use this for, but we’re not going to say it. Don’t do it, you’ll go blind.
Skype
If you’re still paying for telephone calls, where were you? You can now get the online phone service on a mobile, letting you make unlimited calls worldwide for just £10 a month. If that wasn’t enough, Skype even encrypts your calls, so there’s no chance of the Five-O listening in on a tap. Which if you’ve ever seen The Wire, is extremely likely. If you’re calling to a non-Skype phone, it’s encrypted up until it has to travel across the public telephone network, so for super secret convos make sure both of you are on a computer.
iPhone
Apple’s touchscreen wonder is screaming out for fingerprint recognition security, but in the meantime you can make do with its password equivalent of a big red button. If you’ve updated to 2.0 firmware, you can set the iPhone to commit hari kari and wipe its contents after ten failed attempts at the password. Pretty useful considering carrying an iPhone is akin to wearing a badge that says “Free gear for muggers”, but make sure you don’t tell any mean friends in case they decide to erase your address book out of spite by typing in 1234 repeatedly.
Fingerprint laptops
Speaking of fingerprint scanning, there’s plenty of business laptops that do offer this extra level of security, with little extra added bulk. It’s ironic that the Government is invading other people’s privacy but not giving this sort of protection to its own forgetful civil servants, who consistently leave top secret documents on the 18:04 to Swindon. Samsung’s new X460 notebook looks to be cream of the digit reading crop when it comes out, packing a biometric sensor alongside HDMI output for not so private hi-res video viewing.
Face recognition laptops
Burnt your finger tips off? Have a twin that was disfigured in an accident? If fingerprint approval isn’t enough, Toshiba is offering a range of notebooks that won’t let you log on unless it likes the look of your boat race. Tosh’s Satellite and Qosmio laptops come with Face Recognition software as standard – it claims it’s easier than having to remember a jumbled password, but spare a thought for the poor computer that has to suffer Peter Beardsley’s face everytime it starts up.
