Manhunt 2 finally gets its release on October 31, Halloween. So we finally get what the rest of the world has had for ages – a mediocre action-adventure with a hefty dose of cynical controversy on top. But while Manhunt 2 possibly deserved banning – this lot definitely do. And quick!
1 Saints Row 2 – Porn starlet Tera Patrick is a producer for the game. That seems to mean that she takes her clothes off in YouTube trailers while talking about how hot (and possibly wet) the game is. That should tell you all about the barrel-scraping level the second in the Grand Theft Copycat series has already reached. Ban it. And all other games that think if you slap the words “freeroaming” and “gang-banging” together you’ve got a winner.
2 Cooking Mama 2 – And not just that, but Nintendogs, Rayman Raving Rabbids and all the rest of the “casual” games market. When teenage girls start playing videogames and gushing about how cute they are, it’s time for another Gears Of War 2 bloodletting session.
3 James Bond 007: Quantum Of Solace – Number of movie license games ever that have been great? That’ll be GoldenEye then. And that’s about it. So… why do they still pump them out? And why do we still buy them. Stop the madness.
4 Rock Band 2 – Like the equally brilliant, but equally expensive Steel Battalion on the Xbox, Rock Band and its sequel are games solely for teenagers with too much money, or ubergeeks who don’t have anything better but plastic bass guitars to spend their hard-earned pennies on. In short, the majority of the gaming world is left to look on from the side while rich kids and geeks get to look like a cool band. Where’s the justice? Stop this costly peripheral madness now!
5 Samba De Amigo – Just because I loved it on the Dreamcast, does not give you license to make me buy it again on the Wii, Sega. And all the rest of you cheap Wii porting cash-in scammers can stop it too. Only £35 you say? Oh, go on then…
Also rans – you nearly made it… Metal Gear Solid (for more cut-scenes than gameplay), any game without any game to it (Spore, Sims, Wii Music etc.), any game with more than five expansion packs (Sims again), Duke Nukem Forever (because it doesn’t actually exist).
But what would you want banned from videogames? Answers in a comment below, please…
